Back and commissioned, but

Hi earthlings, sounds like this blog is dead for quite sometime. Well, i should say this is not a reviving session because i do not know when i will be free again. As you all can see, i've commissioned on the 13th June. This is one day that i look forward to but not for the pride nor the rank. I couldn't explain much of my feeling as i tossed the cap when announced as the commissioned officer. Whether it is sad, happy, or troubled. Because commissioning is not what i wanted.

Many. Many of those who are fond to get into OCS but doesn't have the chance. But why me? i could either do good in anything that i'm tasked with. Now i'm going to lead men under my charge to missions. I shall say that i'm not ready or perhaps i'm even suitable for this.

Officer, Studies, Privileges in my life. Those are things that i dislike and just happened to came past me so sudden. Yes, you people might be thinking i'm blessed for this shit, but isn't life just too plain, so going through the motion? Life, isn't it to achieve somethings you like and get it eventually? Not as if i'm greedy or what but come on, Throughout this life, getting something that you dislike is more suffering and pain.

I too privilegely blessed with things like that. I guess i'm just someone going through motion like just any one of you guys. Yes, it's fulfilling, but have you ever just think of what makes you happy in your life?

Thanks people! =)

Thanks for all those who are able to celebrate my 22nd birthday throughout these days. Be it in camp, outside of camp or even smses, it has been all these that makes me feel so happy for this year's birthday.

Thanks to the people who celebrated my birthday even though it is a belated one. All the planning and time that you guys chip in to make this surprise a nice one. Throughout my birthdays that i had for 22 years, this year was really my unpredicted one i should say. Sorry if i'm quite stun or speechless all of a sudden, maybe it's because i'm still in a tiring mode. Nonetheless, it was a good one. Thanks Sze Sze, Hui Xin, Fabian, Wei Quan, Azmil, Zhi Fan, Leon, Kian Wee, VK, Serene, Sir Kiat, Jie Wen, Ashtorie, and more. Your gift for me is priceless.

How i hope i can go back in time, just to go through the motion again without thinking so much as what i'm now. Being bothered? Troubled? Stressed? It is still too complicated for me to understand now. 22 years, now i felt that i'm thinking a lot for what i will be in the future. Did army really play a part in nurturing one so that what the one did before army was taken for granted? Just not in the mood for days like this but somehow i thanks all my friends for tahaning this nonsense.

Yes, i'm avoiding things in my life when i entered into army. Somethings just tells me that i shouldnt be not avoiding these things. Maybe i'm wrong? But nobody is not wrong in their life.

To sum up, this few words explains all:
- Thankful
- Troubled
- Avoiding




Well, bad thoughts aside. 3 more weeks to commission. I shall say i wasn't that much prepared but i can't do anything about it though. Got my CSB, Marksman, IPPT gold. Achieving the things in my army life as part of a speedy motion to end this life. What should i be thinking out of this three weeks that i have now?








Lastly, Thanks people, for making my life sailing as smoothly as it is now. =)

Bye people

Yup, Going to Taiwan for training. Shall not elaborate further. Just hope i can come back in one piece. Fucking Sianz.

Emo
Emo
Emo Fuck

The 48 hours of weekend

Back from these few tiring week. More to go but one major one coming soon. 2 more weeks to Taiwan trip! 21 days... whats more can i say? Time flew fast. Pass one day, wake up another, and found that actually it's time for us to countdown our days in OCS. 26 weeks had passed in a blink of an eye, 13 more weeks to go. Things that i have been through which i could not believe myself that i could actually achieve it. Such as:
-CSB
-Endurance runs (10km)
-Lots of exercises
-IPPT gold
-39 weeks
-and many more
Well, although i had achieved them, i still have a long way to go thought. I hope that i could commission somehow or rather because i think i have gone this far already. Lots of shit, lots of brain fucking, and definitely more stress. The only thing that could have been more is sleeping.

Haiz.



13 more weeks loh!
'R U READY?!'

A Quick One

IPPT Gold - Checked!
SOC - Checked!
16km rm w 15kg load - Checked!
24km rm w 20kg load - Checked!
10km Run - Checked!

Still to go:
32km rm w normal load
72km rm w 25kg load
ATP



So fast, it's another month. I hope it will be even faster.

Another week has passed...

Effectively from 1feb, it is going to be 20 weeks to commission. So near but yet so far, but well, just only go to bear with it. So this week, CNY, then book in straight from cousin house. SOC and ET run. Was quite happy for the fact that i can run 6km without stopping(instead of finding motivation to run which my instructor says, i saw the oil price increases while running near Shell station... LOL). Hmmm, SOC with all damn load which i clock 9min55sec. i'm sure i can pass the next time round. YEAH!

Ok! going for Li Matthew's birthday party already! haha.. will be back home around? haha.. Holiday, seems to me you are not enough for me...



Hails

Unearthly moment to post

Hi people. Has been a long time since i have post anything le. Everything is fine so far. However kind of demoralize because of the changes happening in Signals. Thought it was going to be easy for me but well, there is still a lot of a toughness being an officer-to-be still. Hmm.. Right now i'm like stuck with 30 radio net diagram yet to draw. Average for one diagram is about 1 hour or more. Yes, 30hours. Damn stupid way of memorising. Make my finger full of blisters and aches. Hmmm... ya.. something bad happen this week which is my IPPT, here's the result:

Pull-ups = 14
Sit-ups = 42
Standing Board Jump = 272cm
Shuttle Run = 8.7sec
2.4km = 9min 15sec

Bad? BECUZ IT FUCKING VOIDED! Can't really blame that guy but VOIDED STILL!! FUCK!! which means i have to retake again and so do the other 65 of them. Damn.. sipei suay..



Anyways, apart from army daze, Wishes all a happy and wonderful new year and yeah! 20 june! i'm coming....



HAILS!

Long Post, CAUTION!

Part 1 - Speed Through Skill, SIGNALS!

Yup, changed from SAFTI MI to Stagmont Camp already. This is just the vocation i wanted and hope that i never regretted what i've chosen. First day there was rather a slack one. Heard from them that we are booking out every friday night! WOOHOO!! The first pleasing start of going to signals. keke... Well, although i'm splitted to the other bunks where i dunno most of them there, but who cares right? As long as i am in signal it is ok liao.. haha..

Other people also got their vocation. Like leon who is going to Combat Engineer, Simon(my buddy in BMT) is going to Armour Infantry. Fabian going for his CQMS-to-be and Wei Quan still in his MP doing what Rader? hmmm.. dunno how to spell... haha...

So much of military life and after slacking a long extended week and i finally remembered i have left 2 more days to play and there goes to brunei i go.. Fucked.. damn sianz sia... just plain knowing you are going oversea with military means equals to fuck up... Haiz... dunno whether can survive the whole shit of this Brunei trip aka Ex Lancer... ARGH!!! that's something that makes me moody these days.. sianz...


Part 2 (One Week Break)
Thanks to a lot of people, my extended one week holiday is such a meaningful one till i dun wanna go back to military life again... Sad to say that i'm still so tired of doing anything related to military contacts. Hmm... So these days, i went to shop, went to bar, went to do a lot of things that i can't remember anymore... woohoo! way to go man..

2009, a whole new start of the year... new start of the month and somebody is going to hit 22 years old already... haha... old hag.. LOL!! 17 Jan, it seems to be the next big thing/gathering. Can't wait for that day to come which means i'm back from brunei already.. keke.. settled the present already and hope she dun open it until her birthday! haha.. if not karma sia.. =X

New year eve, a good end of the year and the new start of the upcoming year... but still, activities are still not coming up to end this year.. hope can still celebrate it memoriably...

Part 3 (Final)
Resolution for this upcoming year.. Yeah..
1. Stop unhealthy lifestyles.
2. Start saving money.
3. Tahan until i commission.
4. Get Serious.


No photos no nothing, Cuz i'm going to sleep..LOL! ZHAO! HAILS everyone.

KISS (Keeping It Short & Sweet)

OK!

Done-ed Checklist:
- Ex Scorpion King
- Ex Cougar
- Ex Rhino
- Ex Skylark and Ex Nightbird

Waiting for my posting to various vocation:
- Infantry
- Combat Engineer
- Armour
- Logistic
- Signal

How i hope we can choose what we like. Hope that i will be in the Logistic and Signal. Praying hard... Please give my Logistic or Signal ok? 3 more days in ending my Service term in OCS which means i'm going towards senior 3 white bar! More responsbility and shit. Well, what to do? Social night was a hit! Domination! haha.. whatever.. Update with more photos in the future.

Gift exchange programme was cool! Hope we can do it every year with the same people! You guys are cool! =D


I WILL SURVIVE HARD FOR THIS 3 DAYS! SEE YA!

So far, so good?

Hello earthlings. Back from the green days in SAFTI MI. This week wasn't that bad until Friday which i did my so-called navigation in the day and night, and hell it was tiring. So, done which my 10 days field camp and other things, now awaiting for another big event to happen which is the Ex Scorpion King. Basically if i say the description of what is going to happen in this exercise, you will be pitying me. Ok, lets not talk about that. Life in SAFTI MI is great so far without staying in the jungle. Busy, Fed-up and ever politics starts to come about.

So tiring, how much further can i endure? One more month to senior rank presentation which means I'm so called 3 white bar-ed or corporal rank already by then if nothing goes wrong. How i hope the friends of mine can cross over to my Wing in OCS to join me. Properly thinking other than army issues, whats more can i say? Yup, whats more can i say? Life stuck with only army when you are in the army.

I need to enjoy this few weeks of privileges and soon i shall be serving the 3 extra issued to me. Damn, it was a long story but it happen just a short matter of time. So yup, whatever. This may sounds like i'm dying, but i'm not dead though. few more months to go! Hails and Cheers Dudes!

Back from the 10 days worth of hell! What's next?

OK! I managed to survive for this 10 days field camp. Or should i say barely there, because i fainted on the 4th day of the field camp due to physical exhaustion. Stupid retest of IPPT make me chiong for the gold. But eventually, I GOT A GOLD FOR IPPT! YEAH! Never in my life i had break the 10min barrier and went to a never-make-before record of 2.4km timing of 9min30sec. Which means i got $200 coming in soon!

These days in field camp makes me think a lot of my family, my friends and my freedom. Basically, they are the 3Fs that i missed so much during the field camp. Although it doesn't seems like forever i'm not going to see them, it's just that for the moment you felt so tired, restless and helpless, they are the ones that drive you to another level of egoistic. 5 days making through the camp, a letter came to everybody's hand. Some cry and some just kept their tears to themselves. The letter which their parents wrote to them.

But still, not enough time for a lot of things these days, let alone free time for body management. Hope that i can be having more time with the other people.




Till the next time people!

10 Days field camp ahead

Summary:
1) I'm going back to Tekong for 10 days field camp.
2) Which means to say i will not be back next weekend.
3) Got no time to enjoy.

So far so good. But feeling very sianz just to know how many days the field camp is. Somehow, i wanna post something for today. I will like to thank my family for helping out in every ways that you all can help me. Every single one of them.

Well, not much to say. 10 days... am i ready for it?

Second Book Out!

Yup, booked out today at around 1515. This sounds like any normal day but luckily is because i passed my GPMG theory test that's why i got to go home at this timing. For those who are stuck in SAFTI MI, all the best in your GPMG test! =D

Did tonnes of things these couple of weeks. Endurance Run(6km), Speed training, Route marches, and so much so much more. Quite an easy week though but keep finger cross! Any single shit mistake will attribute yourself to a one night stay in SAFTI MI.

Some days i feel so restless, some days i feel so motivated. But how much i can persevere any longer? I hope i can last till the end with all my new friends from ALPHA and most importantly with my best buddy in work and best buddy in BMT! You guys know who you are! As long as you all are there opposite me, i will never give up! (i hope so..)

Hmmm... OK! My day-off is not long! So i shall update next week. Oh ya. I'm booking out on either the sunday night or monday next week. Damn. It's gonna be a long week ahead. But well, suck it up.

I miss my friends, my family, my BMT friends. I miss home...

Perseverance? How long more can I do that?

Judging from the title, it's just pretty simple. Yes i'm posted to OCS which to some people, was an honorable things in my life. But no. Yet to gone through 9 months so yet to consider even honorable. To most people who are my army friends were have know that i was posted to ALPHA Wing Platoon 3. Sounds cool to be in the first alphabetical letter but do you know how stress that could be? Being pressure and pushed to a limit. Gotten unreasonable shit from all points of reason. Complaining here and there isn't so hard to do it here, but how long do i have to post this type of complaining any longer? Who should i complain to? Pretty FUCKED situation right now.

I will like to do what i want.
I will like to sleep whenever i want.
I will like to relax wherever i want.
Why am i so controlled all of a sudden?

Damn..... OCS, joke or pride? You name it.

Everyday.... Stronger, Better, Fast. OCS?

Yup, last day of urban life and civilisation. Going to miss lots of things before i go back to army-ing again. Missing my sleeping time, my leisure time, my 'dunno-what-the-hell-i'm-doing' time and so much more. But well, at least these days were spent meaningful with my working friends and bunk mates, i shouldn't complain much on that. For those who kena sispec, work hard and strive hard for what you wanna achieve. For those who kena OCS, work even harder and strive harder.

Duration? 9 months. I will be back posting in 9 months time because i foresee damn busy time in OCS. Yes, i was posted to OCS even though i already said i wanna be a medic. For those who are wanting to be in OCS i can tell you that the selection is thus random and a bit bo bo one. Don't be despair if you are in sispec or whatsoever. You will still be a commander. Whereas here am i, dunno when i can last till.

Ok! so much of an NS shit. Going to pack my stuff and fuck off from here. Hope to be together with the ppl i know at least! haha. Till the time i post again. HAILS!

Shattered

Well, Finally back to post. Did my 24km which i think i have pride on that at least. So much for a block leave. 5 more days to enter to unit and 2 more days to know my posting. I should say that i'm not nervous at all because i don't really give a damn on where i'm posted to. As long as i know that i've given my best to it, that's it. Thinking, and more thinking. These days have been just passing through as if the time is getting faster. What is that i'm really thinking?

Have been out with my friends recently here and there to chill. Nothing much had been done but i think it's worthwhile spending time with them. I can't afford to waste time, neither do i have time to rest. All i was wondering and hoping now is to spend my time worthwhile.

One who seek greed will not cherish.
One who not care will soon be vanish.
One who fear shall be perish.
But one who hate will get what he wishes.

Till the next time i posted.

So much for my happy POP

I'm BACK!!! like another month again? LOL! Basically, lots of shit and laughter had happen these few weeks in Tekong. So yeah, finish with my Field Camp, Situation Test, IPPT, SOC, Grenade throwing, Live Range and BIC. Those were really a hectic weeks to pass by because there isn't anytime to even catch a breathe during the training.

The most sianz part is the route march. High fever during the day of 16km route march so i never finish the march. Sad. Was going to have my re-route march for 24km so i was hold back to stay in tekong while the others book out. Worst thing is that the route march starts at 9pm but the rain comes at 9pm. So what's the decision? The route march is cancelled and i'm like staying over in tekong for fuck sia. Waste whole bunch of my precious time. Damn Damner Damnest.

Anyways, POP on this coming wed, which was the 10 of Sept. Was waiting for the parade for so long already. Lots of preparation and shit to been through. I hope wed comes in a flash. And the route march wise? Hope they will close one eye and let it pass lor. Damn.

Till the block leave, i will blog more! =D









Feeling: Sucks









Hails.

Hi to all People

Exactly one month ever since i blog already. Army? It totally makes you think of home and the love ones for sure like you never think of them before in your life. I miss the good food, the chatting, the fun, the stupid things, the pasting of time like nothing, the sleeping time at home and most properly, doing nothing.

It has been super tiring these month and not easy to pass. Thanks to all my section mates, platoon mates, and everyone in army for being so cool to make me persist on in army. Some hopes of mine has been given up because i know best of my physical and mental perseverance. Bye bye to OCS, i may also say bye bye to sispec also. But, i will continue to strive hard for the things i can.

So this coming week will be my field camp which is starting tomorrow which also i feared a lot. Hope that i can pull through it and get over with it. Can't have a single contact time during the 6 days out field. Will be back on the friday afternoon and home about evening(if nothing goes wrong). One more month to go for POP and i'm still trying to move on.

Busy, lonely, stressful. This is how they are making me so fragile. I wish i was more fit to overcome this army process but guess it's too late. Lots of things to update but they are just some few of them i could mention. Till the next time i update again.

Army, Here i COME!

Ok! within a few hours i will be in Tekong already. Thanks for all the blessings and you guys take care too!! Of cuz i will update in 2 weeks time if i'm not tired that's for sure.. =D

Till den...







HAILS!!!

The Somberlain

I fell deeper and deeper as light now was gone
I could feel the dark embrace my soul
Agony was no more, and so was pain
At this point of solitude I knew I was there
There where I belong
Thus far a long journey through my souls infinity
It has been a journey far beyond mortality
I have found what I wanted, tranquillity
I'll thrive on evil, eternally

I flew over crystal ground
My existence, numb
Over orchards of grievance,
sorrow and tears
This beautiful silence calls me now
Black fog devours me but I can see it all
The monument of my past,
this land of seven horizons before my eyes
I reach the land of spiritual rest

Its the dawn of descending
- I am the Somberlain
down to evil divine domain

Lord of infernal, gather my strength
Carry me through the gates

Its the dawn of descending
- I am the Somberlain
down to evil divine domain

For I'm eternal night
- I'm the Somberlain
Precede my evil divine domain